Litchfield
by CannahHarmen
Summary: Hannah Carmen is a 26-year-old who got turned in for Criminal Conspiracy charges. Serving a 7 year sentence in Litchfield. Her first 3 1/2 years go by smooth until an old friend shows up. Hannah recounts on her backstory and the events that got her thrown into prison.
1. Chapter 1

"Inmates!" the sudden noise causing me to jolt upright, "You are out of bounds, back to your bunks or it's a shot."

"Yeah okay, Sergeant Dick," I replied with a quick salute. He flashed me an evil eye as I sauntered past him, making sure to walk slower than my normal pace.

"Hey," I turned back to see if the other inmate I was with was following, "Can you walk any slower?"

"Shut the fuck up, Carmen," she replied, tucking a long strand of black hair behind her ear.

"Watch your mouth Vause, wouldn't want another shot," I winked at the guard. Seeing the annoyance on his face gave me a rush of excitement.

Vause jogged up to my side, elbowing me as she giggled. I got lucky this time, we both knew this. Normally I would have gotten pushed against a wall and groped by the guards, but Coates was a pushover ever since he started screwing Pennsatucky. He had at the very least human decency and an understanding that we were actually human beings. Not somebody's sex toy or throw pillow.

"You are one lucky son-of-a-bitch kid," Alex offered.

I let a hearty laugh bubble out as I pushed a fistful of my bangs out of the way of my glasses, "Yeah, but we both know that Coates is a push over so…"

She jokingly punched my forearm, "Hmm, have you been working out?"

"Yeah for the last ten years actually."

"Maybe I should get on your workout regimen?"

"Sure Piper would love that, nothing like a 6 foot tall butch ass lesbian."

"Well… Could make for some interesting sexual positions," Alex couldn't help but laugh halfway through her own sentence.

We finally reached the door to the prison, Litchfield. The minimum security prison for women only, like the Ritz but fucking horrible as my friend Nicky would put it.

My name is Hannah Carmen. I am 26 years-old. Born and raised in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have been in Litchfield for 4 years now. When I was 16 I met a drug dealer at a school football game, he talked a good game and got me to sell pot to the local kids. It brought in a good profit, but I always found myself wanting more. Around the age of 10 my parents died in a 6 car pileup on their way to Gatlinburg on their way to a chalet to spend their wedding anniversary together. Leaving my sister and I at the mercy of our wonderful family, I ended up moving to Clifton to live with my aunt Phyllis and uncle Mark. My mothers relatives. Bella, my younger sister went and lived with our uncle Eddie and aunt Jamie. My father's relatives.

My aunt had a very nice home, old, but nice all the same. Our entire family was raised in this house, my grandfather and all 7 of his other siblings lived here with my great grandparents years ago. The house had been passed down to my aunt Phyllis, technically my great aunt, but I never paid much mind to that. She was simply aunt Phyllis and is still just aunt Phyllis. Well she took me into her little house and raised me until I was 18, then sent me off to the Air Force where I served for 4 years.

Everything was shaky for the first couple months after the accident, with the move and all of the apologies from friends and other relatives. Even the people at school that hated me were sympathetic. I never quite fit in at my school, only had three friends and I never spoke to them much because they all had other friends. So moving to Clifton wasn't such a huge deal to me. I loved being around my aunt and uncle, they gave me my own room and bought me what I didn't have. They both worked at the Christ Hospital in downtown Cincinnati. Phyllis was an anesthesiologist technician and Mark worked in the laundry room. They weren't rich but they certainly weren't poor either.

I never felt right about barging in on their lives, costing them more money than they could always afford, but every time I would offer to help out with money they would get weird, almost defensive. They always told me that they wanted me to have the best life possible, that I deserved everything they got me or else they wouldn't have gotten it for me at all. Still I always had this nagging feeling that I should help out, so I would clean the house, cut the grass, and do any little thing I could to make life easier. Phyllis always said that they were lucky to have me, but I was really the lucky one.

My life there was nice, almost as nice as living with my parents. I attended school at the SCPA, School of Creative Performing Arts. It was an audition only school, I got in for drawing media and theatrical lighting. The school itself was gorgeous and not all the people who went there were self entitled ass holes, some were but most weren't. I actually graduated from there. So most people thought that I was an entitled ass hole becasue I went to school there and because I came out as a lesbian. Big whoop! My aunt and uncle were very supportive of my coming out, which was around the time I turned 14. So it wasn't weird for me to bring girls home because I had a 'no dating girls you go to school with' rule that I took very seriously. I only ever had one girlfriend while I was in school. Her name was Dani. Dani was from a smaller part of Ohio about 25 minutes from the city. We met at the WEBN fireworks when I was 15.

Every year since I was 12 my grandpa Eddie, my dad's dad, took me and my older cousins to the fireworks. It was one of the ways we bonded together, since I was around my mom's family so much it was hard to get away to see my dad's. Bella wasn't allowed to come with us because she was younger and beyond the point of naive. When mom and dad passed she was externally worse off than me. I had my own ways of dealing with the pain, drawing and playing guitar were my outlets. Bella just wore her heart on her sleeve, I always knew better.

The day I met Dani at the fireworks was one of the best days of my teenage life, she was beautiful, I mean drop dead gorgeous to me. Her hair was blonde and swept down to the small of her back, she had glowing green eyes that swept me away, she was 5'7 with a curvaceous figure. I remember that she always called herself fat, it wasn't true, she was beautiful.

I was sitting on a park bench next to the public restrooms waiting for my cousin Eddie to come out, but the line was so long that I knew it would be a little while. It was a hot summer day, maybe around 98 or 99 degrees, hard to tell, but I could feel the sweat dripping down the back of my neck and covering most of my body. The white t-shirt I wore had patches of moisture around the collar and clung to me, you could see my black sports bra through the thin fabric. I was slightly worried that I might smell like sweat or BO but I was wearing a very strong perfume and clinical strength deodorant.

Just now realizing I haven't really given you a description of myself yet. So I had shoulder length dark brown hair with sideswept bangs and my hair was pulled back in a ponytail, I have blue green eyes with speckles of light hazel close to my pupils which were protected by a pair of black framed glasses. Weighing in around 195 pounds with an oddly muscular build, standing at about 5'7 but I always wore shoes that gave me a few inches. That day I wore a white t-shirt, a pair of tan khaki shorts with way too many pockets, a pair of high top converse that I wore a size bigger than my size so I could fit height extenders in the soles. Yes, I'm slightly resentful and embarrassed of my height.

It wasn't my intention of meeting any girls that day, just planned on spending time with my family before I headed back to Phyllis's house. She never seemed to care if I spent time with my other family, she was very adamant about me not drifting away from them. My cousin Eddie stayed with me every once in awhile at my house, we had became closer since the accident. His father wasn't in the picture anymore so we would talk about what we felt about our situations a lot. We were our own support system, leaning on each other when we felt weak. Eddie's about a year and a half older than me, but the age difference was small enough that it never got in the way. He was a very important person to me and still visits me frequently while I've been in prison, he thought what I did was dumb at first but soon came to realize where I was coming from. Eddie was truly my greatest support.

I was still waiting on the bench for Eddie in the sweltering heat of mid afternoon. Kids were running around, chasing one another, weaving through the huge throngs of pedestrians that walked leisurely across the park. No particular place to be kind of vibes were everywhere, mixed with cigarette smoke and sunscreen fumes. The noise was like a constant buzz around me, people laughing, yelling, all kinds of music playing from either loud speakers or the live bands down at the stage in the middle of the park. I leaned back against the park bench and let the bustle and noise consume me, it was days like this that I loved. Days where I could just melt into the background, nothing I did mattered, I could just kick back and forget for a little bit.

A hand lightly tapped my shoulder, causing me to stir from my daydreaming. I figured it was Eddie finally out of the bathroom so I said, "About time you got out of the shitter." I turned my head towards where the hand had tapped me but It wasn't Eddie that had touched me, it was some girl, maybe 6 or 7.

"I'm sorry to bother you but my family told me to meet them by the lemonade stand and I can't seem to find them," she had a tear rolling down her cheek and I could tell she was lost by the way her eyes kept darting around.

"Um, yeah I know where that's at," I stood up and kneeled down so I was at eye level with the younger girl, "Do you need me to take you there sweetie?"

She nodded at me fervently, "Thank you."

I gave her a quick smile and pulled my phone from my pocket. I needed to tell Eddie what I was doing, I figured he'd still be waiting in line while I took her to the lemonade stand, but I wanted to be safe.

' _Taking a lost little girl to her family up at the Hubert's lemonade stand, don't wait up if you get out before I get back. Text me what's up.'_

The little respond bubble started up as soon as my message sent.

' _Kk, still waiting in this damn line. If I get out and you aren't on the bench we can meet back at Pepaw's Hummer!'_

I sent him a thumbs up before locking my phone and sliding it back into my pocket. The little girl was still at my side, I started to walk but she wasn't following me. "Hey, are you coming?" I cooed making my voice softer than I usually talked. Her face was streaked with tears and fear was written across her face. I walked back over to her.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" she shook her head no, "What about a ride on my shoulders?"

Her expression changed to one of curiosity and excitement as she shook her head furiously up and down. A wide smile plastered on her small face, "Okay, come here."

She lifted her arms up over her head, waiting for me to pick her up, she was very eager. I obliged and lifted her up over my head, she squealed when she plopped down on my shoulders.

"You're really strong miss."

I smirked, "Nah, you are just really light kid."

She kicked her feet against my chest and wrapped her short arms around my forehead. When Bella was younger she used to do this to me, except she would pull my hair and try to blind me by sticking her hands between my glasses and my face, over my eyes. It'd been so long since I had seen Bella, she called me on my birthday 2 months back to tell me she loved me, but that lasted all of 5 minutes before the call got awkward and she hung up. Mine and Bella's relationship had crumbled after Mom and Dad died, she was my reminder of what had happened and I was hers. Mom and Dad would have kicked my ass if they knew that I had let our relationship fall apart, but it was just too hard. I saw her on major holidays and I always went to see her on her birthday, but other than that we didn't have anything to do with each other. Some people would have called it sad but we had a certain understanding for each other.

After a few more minutes of walking through the crowds we finally made it to the lemonade stand. There were people standing in line waiting to get a bottle of free lemonade, but there was one girl who looked out of place. From far away I couldn't really see her all that well, just could make out very long hair and a light blue t-shirt with some sort of decal on it. We were getting closer and the girl atop my shoulders was getting fidgety.

"Do you see any of your family up there?" I started to speed up my walking. My calves were burning from the hill we walked up.

"The one with the long hair," she extended her arm to point towards the same girl I had seen 50 yards back.

Coming into view I could see the decal was an Aerosmith logo, I smirked to myself. From 30 yards away she looked cute, but when I was close enough to make out every detail I could see she was gorgeous.

"Dani!" the little girl yelled out, "Dani! Over here!"

I quickened my pace a bit more until the girl, Dani, turned her head. The look on her face switched to relief when she saw the small girl upon my shoulders. Confusion flashed across her face as she noticed me, I felt myself blush as I came up on her.

"Dani!" I lifted the girl from my shoulders and set her down as gently as I could on the ground. My legs were slightly shaking now, but I wasn't sure if it was from the walk or her piercing gaze.

"Sarah!" she pulled the girl tightly to her chest, "Mom and Dad are over there," Dani held her at arm's length.

"Over where, Dani?" the girl sounded so innocent.

"There," Dani said as she extended her arm in the direction of an older looking couple sitting down at one of the round plastic picnic tables. The girl exploded from Dani's grip and bolted towards the couple. I turned my attention back to Dani for a split second before spinning on my heels, time to head back to the restrooms. Maybe I got 10 yards away before I felt someone lightly grab my left shoulder, stopping me from walking. That warranted annoyed stares and half ass shoves directed at me, but I turned around to see who decided to bring me attention. My gaze was met with that long blonde hair and piercing green eyes, my heart skipped a beat. ' _What the hell Hannah, why do you keep freaking out when you see her?'_ I thought to myself.

"You aren't just gonna bring a little girl back to her family and up and out walk away," she had a playful smile tugging at her lips.

"I have places to be," I said.

"Come on, let me buy you something to drink?"

"Sorry, I'm only 15 hun."

"Well I'm only 16 so… Does a soda or tea sound good," she was trying harder now, she was running her fingertips up and down my right arm.

"I drink water," my breathing started to become off and I was sweating harder, I knew it wasn't from the heat now.

"Okay then two waters it will be."

She started to walk away from me, but I was stuck to the spot. I watched her blonde hair sway from the slight breeze coming up off the river. Her head turned back to look at me, "Hey, what's the hold up?"

I started after her, lightly pushing people from my path to catch up with her, still wondering how my legs didn't give out yet. All of the composure I had before was gone, somehow my words were the only things I could keep straight.

We waited in line for a few minutes waiting to get the water's from the concession stand. She choose a table that wasn't so crowded around, actually it was oddly quieter over here than anywhere else but the parking lot.

"It's quiet over here."

"Yeah, I don't like big crowds," Dani opened up her water bottle and sipped, I watched her lips.

' _You need to get ahold of yourself before you say something stupid, Carmen.'_

"I don't mind large crowds, easier to lose myself in," I opened my bottle and gently wet my lips before taking a gulp. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dani staring at me, a darkness covering her eyes as she bit her lip.

"So you are one of the people who hides in the background?"

I brought the bottle from my lips and sat it down on the white surface of the table. "Hun, I am the background."

' _What the hell was that!? She's gonna get up and leave your stupid ass.'_

She didn't hold back the fits of giggles that I brought her, they were adorable, made the butterflies in my stomach start to flutter harder. "Okay, are you trying to impress me? Because it is actually working."

"I… umm… sorry I'm an idiot," I smashed my face into my palms, careful not to hit my glasses.

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket, the Walking Dead theme playing at full blast pulled me from my idiotic stupor. I reached into my pocket and slid the answer button across the screen before actually looking at who had called me.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where you at? I finally got out of the bathroom."

"Oh, I'm kinda held up with something, do you just want to meet at Pepaw's car in a little while?"

"Sounds good, have fun."

"I will."

"Hannah."

"Yes?"

"Before you go, how big are her boobs?"

"This is why I don't tell you anything."

"I love you cousin."

"Love you too asshole," I hung up the phone and slid it back into my pocket.

Turning my attention back to Dani who had somehow gotten closer to me without me realizing. Her arm was a few inches from mine and her left hand grazed my right hand's knuckles.

"So what's your name?"

"Oh, I haven't told you that yet have I…"

"No, so fess up anon."

"Hannah, my name's Hannah Carmen."

"Well I'm Danielle Ross, but most people call me Dani," she reached her right hand over to me as if to shake it, "Nice to meet you Hannah."

"Likewise," I brought my right hand from the table to shake her outstretched hand. As soon as our fingers touched I felt a jolt of electricity run through me, if we would have been standing I would have fallen over I felt it so strongly. Not realizing that I was squeezing a bit too tight until I saw Dani wince. "I'm sorry," I drew my hand back and wiped it on my shorts, trying to absorb the sweat that gathered on my palm.

A consistent blush pinched my cheeks while I chatted with her over our water bottles.

"So, do you live here, in the city?"

"Yeah," I took a swig of my water, "I've lived here with my aunt and uncle for going on five years now."

"What about your parents?"

I felt the color drain from my cheeks at that question and my heart started to sink. No one ever asked me about my parents, because everyone else already knew. But here I was with this gorgeous girl that had no idea who I was or what I had been through, we just met by chance. Dani's eyes lightened, she must have noticed how tense I had become. She reached her hand out to grab mine, her skin came in contact with mine and I felt a sort of safeness like that. Her skin was so soft against mine, it was like touching a freshly washed duvet, soft and smooth.

"I didn't mean to strike a nerve Hannah, I'm sorry," she pulled my hand closer to her until she was able to wrap her right hand around it as well.

"You're fine," I let a small laugh pass my lips, "It still is fresh in my mind."

"Do you mind if I ask what happened?" she was running her thumb over my knuckles, her gaze causing my insides to scramble.

"They died in a car accident 5 years ago," her lips parted a bit.

"I'm sorry."

"No need, it has gotten easier over the years. I don't talk about it much if at all, actually," I used my free hand to rub the back of my neck.

The sounds of kids laughing and adults chattering had become nothing but a low hum over the sound of my heart beat. Some sort of perfume filled my nostrils, not realizing that it was Dani's perfume. I lightly sniffed the air, "You smell nice."

' _Okay, you are a weirdo. You just told her she smelled nice, of every compliment ever created you said that?"_

My internal argument was halted by the sound of Dani's voice.

"Thank you," she moved her head towards me, her cheek incredibly close to mine, "You smell nice too," she whispered.

' _Okay maybe not as bad as I thought.'_

Dani's hands were still wrapped around my right and I could feel the sweat start to form on our palms, but Dani held them there. I needed an out before I tried to kiss the blonde, I knew I could only sit here so much longer before I gave into that thought.

"Want to go for a walk?" my voice cracking slightly.

This elicited a slight smile from her, "Would love to."

"Cool," I tugged my hand slightly to let her know I needed it back.

We walked around the park for an hour or so before I got a text from Eddie. He told me that dinner was almost done and I needed to get back so Pepaw wouldn't get upset. Dani and I exchanged numbers before I left, we promised to keep in touch since she only lived 25 minutes away. She kissed me on the cheek as we parted ways. I stood planted to the spot, trying to make sense of what had happened. Met a cute girl, got drinks with cute girl, talked to cute girl, walked with cute girl, and got kissed by that cute girl. I pressed my fingertips to where her soft lips had touched my skin, trying to preserve the feeling in my mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks passed since I had last seen Dani, but we talked everyday either through text or over phone calls. Not a moment passed by that I wasn't thinking about her. My aunt noticed the change almost instantly. I was much more lively, had a smile on my face all the time, she didn't exactly know that I had met someone that I was talking to, but she knew that something was going on.

After a month of talking strictly over our cells we decided to meet up in person. Least to say I was excited, maybe even ecstatic to see her again. We had arranged to hang out at my aunt's house together. Phyllis didn't mind, she was just excited that I was finally having a friend over that wasn't Eddie. She loved Eddie because she knew that he was my person, but she knew I needed other friends that weren't my cousin.

 **00000**

"Hey Carmen, you got any aces?"

"Go fish, Nichols," I ran my fingers through my bangs. God I needed a shower with proper shampoo and conditioner. The commissary had been out of anything good for 2 weeks now and my hair was starting to suffer because of it.

"God you look like shit kid. When was the last time you showered?"

"Last night actually. Commissary is still out of my shit so my hair accumulates grease like a dirty garage floor."

"Quite an analogy there. Why don't you take a bottle of mine? I stocked up when the new shipments came in last month," Nicky threw down her cards, "I fucking hate Go Fish."

"Me too."

"So do you want a bottle?" Nicky stood up and started walking towards the door.

"Sure," a beat, "What'll it cost me?"

Nicky looked over her shoulder, "Nothing, it costs you nothing. We're family Hannah. Consider it a gift."

I followed Nicky back to the suburbs. That was the name of our dorm here.

"So I heard you and Vause got caught doing something in the yard before count the other day," Nicky kept her voice low, not wanting anyone around us to hear our conversation.

"Yeah, but Coates is a bitch so we were able to get away with a warning."

"Surprised he didn't try to fuck you two," Nicky smirked. She didn't ask what it was we were doing in the yard, more than likely she didn't actually care.

"Too busy plowing Pennsatucky at the moment is what I've heard around the block."

"Probably."

We walked in silence the rest of the way to Nicky's dorm. She'd been my friend since I'd been thrown into this hell hole four years ago. We'd bonded over bad sex jokes and the need to survive our shitty ass prison sentences.

 **00000**

The doorbell rang twice by the time I finally made it down the steps to the front door. I practically tripped over my own feet as I made my way downstairs. Phyllis's house smelled like pinesol and Yankee Pumpkin Spice, my favorite type of candle. I had cleaned the house spotless while Phyllis and Mark were at work. They always picked up extra shifts a few months before the holidays hit, so they had enough money for gifts and utility bills. I had made sure that they were cool with Dani coming over more than once. She was the only person I had ever invited over other than Eddie, but he was family and Phyllis knew that I really liked Dani. Phyllis had told me that as long as there was no baby making we were fine and in return I told her that I didn't think that was possible. She laughed at me and winked, but I still felt far too young to have sex. Kids at school talked about it and earlier last year I had been making out with a girl in the booth of the school theatre and it had gotten heated but I freaked out and left. Needless to say, we never spoke after that. I didn't want that to happen with Dani, hell we weren't even dating.

I reached down and wrapped my hand around the door knob, gulping in a lungful of air before turning the knob and yanking the door back. The door was screwed up, but that's beside the point. Dani was standing on the other side of the door with a glowing smile spread across her face. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail, a few loose strands were pushed back behind her ears which were decorated with small topaz earrings on either side of her head. She wore a pair of light blue jeans that had a ripped knee, they hugged her figure perfectly, making me let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. A peace sign necklace sat in the middle of her chest against a forest green t-shirt, her bra line visible against the thin material of the shirt.

"Hey," I opened the door wider and ushered her inside.

"Hi," Dani retorted, walking past me into the living room. She had a small backpack slung over her left shoulder, probably had her overnight clothes inside. "You have a really cozy place here, Hannah," Dani spun in a semicircle on the heels of her beat up converse.

"Thanks, the interior designers died 20 years ago I'm afraid so…" I stepped up behind Dani, slipping the bag off her shoulder. She giggled at my joke, I loved the sound of it.

"Why thank you miss," Dani let the pack slip into my hands.

"My pleasure. So I figured in maybe an hour or so I could order a pizza and we could just watch some movies tonight?" Dani turned around to look at me. I had an inch on her without my shoes on. The height difference only making her have to tilt her head slightly to see into my eyes.

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan."

"So we can hangout here or go to my bedroom? It's up to you," my inner monologue kept playing over and over again in my head;

' _Just breathe and stay cool, you are just friends, nothing more and nothing less. Just be yourself and nothing will go wrong. She likes you.'_

"Your room sounds fine. Do I need to take my shoes off?"

"No, all of the rooms have hardwood floors, but you can take them off if you want."

Dani slipped out of her converse and sat them down next to my pair of black high tops, she looked over at my shoes, "You have big feet."

I could feel my face flush to dark red. Dammit. I never blush like this.

"Yeah, it runs in the family. Most of my cousins are athletes so big feet give a better center of gravity, I guess,"I was rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. Dani was still bent down in front of me, her rear end extremely close to me. She slowly started to stand back up, I had to rip my gaze away from her butt and gather my thoughts again.

"But you aren't an athlete?"

"Not officially no, but I always play football or baseball with my cousins at family events and sometimes on this league my cousin Ryan is in."

"So you do play sports."

"Yeah, I guess… but theatre is my first love."

I started upstairs, I could hear Dani's footsteps directly behind me on the old wooden staircase. We walked into my bedroom, the smell of my perfume hitting our nostrils, I was used to the smell since I had been wearing the same perfume for years. But Dani noticed it, I watched her sniff the air ever so slightly.

"Have I ever told you how good you smell?" she chuckled at the end of her sentence, making me think of our first interaction a month ago.

"Maybe once or twice."

I walked farther into the room and Dani followed. When I had first moved in this room had been pretty outdated. It was Phyllis's old bedroom from when she was a kid, she had shared it with her older sister Lynda. Phyllis redid the entire room for me, my grandpa and I painted and picked out all of the furniture and everything, even replaced the floorboards in the entire upstairs. It took us six months to finish, but it was worth it. We painted the walls an extremely light baby blue, the color of a clear summer day, although I had so many posters and pictures hanging on the walls it was like the color didn't exist. A double bed sat in a corner of the room, it was made with a dark grey sheet and a navy blue comforter that covered my pillows. My walking dead quilt lay folded at the edge of the bed just so you could see the AMC WALKING DEAD logo. A large computer desk was pushed against the far wall of the room, it had two 30 inch monitors that sat on either side of a 45 inch Vizio. Both of my computer towers were under the desk sitting next to each other, one was a normal HP and the other was my gaming PC. A practically brand new CyberPowerPC. Each of my computers had a keyboard and under the desk in the keyboard slot I housed my PS4, which was connected to the 45 inch tv. My brown leather swivel chair sat in front of the monitors. I had books piled high in the corner of the desk closest to the wall, all of them were nonfiction. My school bag was slung over the back of my chair, we never got homework over the weekends so it would stay closed until Monday morning. In another corner close to the foot of my bed I had my bass guitar and my acoustic guitar on stands in front of my 4 foot high Peavy all purpose amp. The wattage alone could break every window in the house so I never cranked it up past a certain point. Above my amp I had a mounted 55 inch Vizio Smart T.V., I didn't use it a whole lot since I normally would just play music through my surround sound system when I went to bed. But Eddie and I always watched movies or played his XBOX One on it when he stayed, which was almost every other weekend. The last corner of my room was occupied by a two door closet where my dresser sat on one side and I had clothes hanging on the other.

I watched as Dani took in my room, she looked stunned by how modern my room was compared to the rest of the house. Phyllis wanted to make me feel comfortable so she always put money aside to buy me stuff, it always made me feel bad. Of course I loved the things she gave me, it wasn't as if she was trying to buy my love, we actually talked often. Phyllis and I were close, she adored me and I adored her, she took care of me and I could never repay her for that. She didn't buy me everything in the room. The guitar equipment was all from my papaw Eddie, he collected it all and would restore it then give them to me.

"Wow," Dani said as she slowly walked around, touching my desk lightly and running her hands across my guitars. She walked over to my Bed and plopped down on her bottom. "I really like your room."

"Me too," my hand had returned to the base of my neck.

"You look nervous, Hannah."

"Um… It's just that… just," I was losing my cool, stumbling over every word.

"What?" Dani smirked, "never had another girl in your room?"

I nodded my head.

"Don't be nervous, I don't bite," she took a moment, "Well I normally don't anyway."

A nervous laugh bubbled out of my throat into the air that seemed to be getting thicker with each word Dani said. She kept smirking to herself, obviously enjoying my reaction, knowing that I was starting to get worked up.

"What kind of movies do you like?" I said trying to change the subject, but Dani wouldn't let me.

"Have you ever brought a girl to your house in general?" She drew small circles on her thigh as she awaited my answer.

"No," I took another breath of air, "I've never had a girlfriend."

"When we talked on the phone you said you had done stuff with other girls. Did you lie?"

"I've had makeout sessions before and one time I almost had sex with this girl at school, but they were all flings," I pulled on the hem of my t-shirt, "I never really felt anything with them."

"I've had that happen before… So you're a virgin?"

"Yeah, still got the good ole V Card in my wallet and everything."

She started to laugh, causing me to giggle as well. Her laugh was contagious.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"What do you have?"

"Water and black tea," I started to walk towards her.

"Water sounds nice," I leaned down next to her leg and reached my hand under my bed, pushing the comforter upward. The mini fridge was farther under the bed than I thought, so I got down on my knees and shoved my entire arm under the bed. My hand finally came in contact with the cool hard plastic top of the mini fridge, but I didn't pull it out right away. I had other plans.

"What… What's this?" I made my voice sound fearful.

"What?" Dani looked down at me, I turned my head to give her eye contact.

"SHIT!" I banged my hand against the ground as soon as I let the word slip from my mouth. Dani jumped onto my body, pulling me back across the hardwood floor. Her left hand was looped under my left armpit while her right was draped across my chest. Her left leg was wrapped around my lower abdomen and her right foot was propelling us away from the bed. It took her a whole minute to realize that I was laughing, laughing so hard the vein on my forehead was protruding from the skin and my neck veins were pushing out. My entire face was beet red and she couldn't help but laugh after she'd realized that I had pulled a prank.

Between laughs I could hear her saying, "You are… an… ass hole!"

We laughed for what felt like forever, she was wrapped around my body for what felt like forever, and I could have stayed in that very moment forever.


	3. Chapter 3

"Thanks for the shampoo Nicky," I started to walk away from her bunk when I felt a hand grab my right arm.

I turned to see who it was, most people didn't mess with me here since I was part of Red's family so I figured it was just another one of them. The hand was still on my arm as I turned around. To my relief it was just Norma, she handed me a note with something scrawled down in black ink. I nodded my head at Norma and she nodded back at me. The note read;

 _Hannah,_

 _Meet me in the kitchen after dinner tonight. We have more to discuss about what you and Alex have been doing in more depth. She will receive a note as well. As always make sure to discard of this discretely!_

 _Mother Russia_

I balled the note up and shoved it into my waistband. Tonight I had cleanup in the kitchen after dinner so I would be safe to stay and talk, but if Alex got caught in the kitchen we would all be screwed. I made my way to my bunk to grab my shower caddy, but I was interrupted by Marshals. She had only been here for a few months and had yard duty so I barely saw her except for at count. Apparently I had been nice to her on the first week here so now she tried to be inside my ass everytime she was anywhere near me. Nicky told me I should screw her and then break her heart, but she was the kind of person that you couldn't shake after a one and done. So I dealt with her, but right now I had places I needed to be before dinner.

Marshals dragged me into my bunk, attempting to pin me against the wall since the guards were between shifts. I was much stronger and pinned her hands behind her back pushing her against the wall so her hands were in the small of her back and her chest was pressed against mine.

"You know if you started to grind your hips this would be like my junior prom night," Marshals started rubbing her pelvis against my upper thigh but this wasn't turning me on. It was making me angry.

"Marshals you need to leave me the fuck alone or I'm going to hurt you," she stopped grinding her pelvis against me and her body relaxed against my grip.

"I thought you liked me…" The look on her face was certainly not lying, I could see the genuine confusion in her eyes.

"I do like you but I don't 'like' you. Okay?"

"Yeah, I'll leave you be."

I let go of her wrists and pulled my body back from the wall to let her away. The embarrassment was written across her forehead, but not a lot of the other inmates had seen our little episode there. I gathered my shower caddy into my hand and slid the new shampoo Nicky had given me into one of the empty slots. Time to get rid of the letter and maybe put an end to my greasy ass hair.

 **00000**

"You're totally wrong! Johnny Depp is the only actor who could ever do Captain Jack any justice!" I threw a few pieces of popcorn at Dani for saying that Robert Downey Junior could have done better.

"I mean of course Johnny did a phenomenal job, but RDJ is a better actor."

"Oh you are on!" I threw the pillow I was sitting on at Dani, she ducked just in time for it to slam right into my Sweeney Todd poster.

"Looks like you don't like Johnny that much after all," Dani threw her hands up into a victory kind of celebration and laid back against my pillows.

We had eaten almost an entire pizza and two bags of popcorn in the last six hours. Now we were watching Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and arguing over who would be a better captain Jack. Dani was lying in my bed on top of my comforter and I was reclining in my brown leather swivel chair.

After my prank we had laid on the floor for ten minutes just waiting to see who would move first, I eventually gave in. Knowing that I couldn't physically lay there like that without trying to feel her and kiss her.

"I'm gonna go change," Dani climbed out of my bed and walked towards the door, bending over to grab her bag from the floor before exiting, giving me a perfect view. When I heard the bathroom door shut I jumped up and ran over to my closet door to grab some pj's. I rummaged through my top drawer until I came across a pair of loose boxer shorts and one of my old paint shirts. Stripping quickly so I wouldn't get caught naked by Dani was almost like a game, I didn't want her to see me and yet I really did. I threw my dirty clothes into the hallway hamper. I jumped into my bed and slid under the comforter, not realizing my glasses were still on. I took the black frames off my face and tossed them lightly at my desk, they landed without breaking and that's all I cared about. When I finally got comfortable in the bed I heard the bathroom door open, knowing the blonde was about to walk into my room in pj's excited me. She walked into the room and dropped her bag on the floor next to the doorway.

"Close the door," I said, "The cold air will get out into the rest of the house and Phyllis will kill me."

Dani obliged and slowly closed the door behind her. The small lamp that sat on my desk lit up the room to where I could still see all of Dani. Her hair was still pulled back into a long ponytail, but now she wore a pair of short shorts and a grey spaghetti strap tank top. I let out a small gasp, but it was inaudible to Dani.

"Turn off the desk lamp too."

Dani walked over to my desk and clicked the lamp off.

"So do you want the bed tonight?" I asked.

"If you don't mind…"

"Of course not, I'll make a bed on the floor for me," I started to get up but Dani stopped me.

"You can still sleep in the bed Hannah. I won't hurt you."

I felt a flash of heat run through my body and the butterflies returned to my stomach.

"Okay…. Do you want to continue the movie then?"

"No, I'm actually pretty tired."

"Okay," I patted the bed, "Come lie down."

For the first time I watched Dani's face flash to a shade of red, her footsteps weren't as controlled as normal and she was biting her lip. Dani was nervous. She walked up to the bed and lay down under the covers. I turned the T.V. off and sat the remote on the window sill above my head. I pushed myself against the wall, trying to give Dani her space, but she flipped onto her side so she was facing me. She put her right hand on my hip and pulled me to her until she had her head resting against my chest, "Your heartbeat is erratic, calm down. I'm not doing anything." Dani's voice put me at ease. She grabbed my left hand in her right and placed it on her hip. Nuzzling her head into my chest, she could still feel how tense I was.

"Just relax against me, okay?"

"Okay," I tried to let me body relax and it took that as a request. My nose was buried in her hair, I could smell her shampoo and perfume, it made me feel safe. The way Dani was laying against me gave me a piece of mind I hadn't had in years. I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in five years and most nights I woke up screaming from a nightmare. When I was young Phyllis would come and lay with me until I fell back asleep, but now she would wake me up with a cup of coffee and a talk about what I dreamt of. The way Dani was touching me reminded me of the nights Phyllis would come and sleep with me, but other than the safety part there was something else that made me love the way Dani touched me. I was really falling hard for her, I could feel it, but I didn't know how Dani felt and I planned on finding out.

 **00000**

Sunlight was peeking through my bedroom window and the smell of french roast filled my nostrils. Phyllis must have gotten home earlier than normal last night, since I normally made the coffee on Sunday mornings. I glanced over at the alarm clock. 9:37.

Dani's head was still lying against my chest, but she was much closer to my body than last night. Her right hand was resting on my ribs and her left was curled against her chest. Her legs were intertwined with mine. My left arm was wrapped around her waist, I must have pulled her closer to me last night. Our lower abdomens were pushed together. It felt so right, the way we lie there wrapped around each other. I watched her sleep for a few minutes, studied the way her chest moved while she breathed, the way she would nuzzle her head against my chest. I knew I had to get out of bed before Phyllis came to wake me up, and find Dani and I wrapped up. It was hard to move at first because I was afraid to wake her up. Eventually I was able to slip from her grasp, she stirred a bit, but didn't wake up.

I slipped the robe that hung on the back of my door onto my arms and tiptoed out of my bedroom. The bathroom door was open so I walked in and checked my hair in the mirror then brushed my teeth. I made my way down the steps towards the kitchen. My barefeet slapped against the cool hardwood floor, so Phyllis heard me coming in.

"Coffee's still hot," she didn't lift her head from her newspaper.

"Where's Mark?" I walked past the breakfast bar where Phyllis sat towards the coffee pot.

"He already left. You're coffee cup is in the strainer."

I reached into the strainer next to the sink and grabbed my favorite coffee cup. It was a gift from the drama club to me. It said 'Stage Managers run on caffeine and the power of 20 men.'

"But it's Sunday," I poured the coffee into the mug and walked back over to the breakfast bar to sit across from Phyllis.

"He just started taking up Sundays so he has Wednesdays free for cards down at the Yard House," Phyllis sat down her newspaper to look at me, "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I have in a long time," I blew the steam off the top of my mug and sipped the black coffee.

"I wonder why?" Phyllis smirked at me. Her blue eyes had something hidden behind them.

"I don't know," I started to get nervous.

"Does it have anything to do with you and Dani sleeping together last night?"

"We didn't sleep together Phyllis," my face turned a shade of pink.

"I meant you two actually sleeping with each other," Phyllis could see the embarrassment written across my face. She reached her hands across the bar and took mine. "Hannah, I'm not worried about you two having sex."

"Phyllis," my voice was slightly whiney.

"Hannah I know you, take this slow. You two will be cute together."

"I don't even know if she likes me like that."

"Trust me not everyone would lay like that with someone they just wanted to be friends with."

"I hope you're right."

 **00000**

"All I'm saying is that maybe we should all protest about getting tampons instead of maxi pads," Lorna said between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes.

"You know we have this conversation at the very least twice a week so could you just shut the fuck up and eat your goddamn potatoes?" Nicky looked pissed as she told off Lorna.

"I think you two should start banging again," Alex offered, "I'm sick of your dumb arguments."

"You know that I have to save myself for Vinnie when I get out Alex."

"That's not what you were saying last week in the fucking showers," Nicky picked up her tray and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Lorna grabbed her tray and walked away from the table, leaving Alex, Piper, and I alone.

"She's right about the tampons you know," Piper said.

Alex picked a pea up from her tray and tossed it at Piper's face, "No more talk about tampons Pipes."

Piper picked up the pea and tossed it into her mouth, winking at her girlfriend. It felt really good to see these two getting along, they hadn't been at each others throats in a while.

"Hannah?" Piper said my name.

"Yeah?"

"You've been really quiet lately, is everything alright?" The concern in Piper's voice was prominent.

"We had our meeting with Red last night," Alex interjected, but that wasn't what was wrong with me.

"How'd it go?"

"It went well, we are getting closer."

"I'm so glad to hear that,"Piper and Alex held hands over the table.

"But still, are you okay Hannah?" Piper still held onto Alex's hands but she turned her attention to me.

"I uh… I got bad news over the phone today," I kept my voice low and stared down at my hands. There was still a plate full of slop sitting in front of me, but I had no intentions of touching it.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'd hate to be a bother," I grabbed my tray from the table and threw it in a trash can on my way out of the cafeteria. Piper and Alex looked at each other over the table and decided to follow me. Knowing full well that I only acted like this when there was something truly wrong. I pushed past other girls on my way to the yard, I wanted to feel the cool autumn air against my skin, to help me think a little bit. The blonde and brunette were following me, I would tell them what was going on, but not in there with so many other people. Finally I made it to the doors leading outside, we had an hour before count so I knew we would have time to talk. The air hit my face as soon as I opened the door, I tried to pull as much of it into my lungs as I could. It felt amazing.

"Hannah!" Alex shouted. Her and Piper had caught up with me.

"Not here," I started walking toward the picnic tables on the other side of the yard. I greedily sucked in the air that surrounded me, trying to placate the feeling in my brain. Sitting down at the bench was a relief, finally somewhere I could talk to these two in private. They sat down across from me, still looking worried.

"Okay, seriously what's going on with you," Piper asked.

"My cousin Eddie and I talked over the phone today."

"And?"

"My… well, you know about my aunt Phyllis?"

"The aunt who took care of you?" Alex offered.

"Yeah."

"What about her?" Piper asked.

"Her surgery didn't come out as planned and now they don't know if she's gonna make it or not…" I fought back my tears, didn't want to cry in front of these two.

"Was it a post op infection?" Piper asked, reaching across the table to hold my hand. I slid my hand back towards my body, Piper pulled her hand back and looked at me with sad eyes. In the 4 years I'd been here, I hadn't let another person really touch me. I was still in love with Dani, she was the only part of my past I kept a secret from my friends here. Not even Nicky knew about it.

"No, they put her under and she never woke back up," still trying so hard to hold in my tears.

"How long has it been?"

"Going on eight days now…" my voice trailed off. I could feel both of them staring at me, Piper trying hard not to reach out and hold me.

"Did you ask about furlough?"

"I'll never get it, Healy hates me."

"Yeah Pipes, you're the only person to get furlough here ever."

"So?"

"Because Healy likes you."

Piper looked back at me, "Since Healy 'likes' me so much, I'll take you to him. We'll talk with him together. Okay."

I took a minute to think about it, worse case scenario I didn't get it and I wouldn't see Phyllis if she died. Best case scenario I would get to see her, even if it was in that hospital bed.

"Yeah, sure. Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of Dani's voicemail and a sharp beep greeted me when I called.

"I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to hangout this weekend? I got two tickets to the Cincinnati Opera for Saturday night. They are showing _Carmen_ ," I giggled, "Thought it would be fun. Well just um call me back. Alright, bye."

It was Christmas break at my school, we had two weeks off and I was determined to spend as much of that time with Dani as possible. Her school had two extra days off so they got out on Thursday instead of the end of Friday. It was Wednesday night so I was settling down in my bedroom to work on my geometry homework. Phyllis wouldn't be home until 10 o'clock so I went ahead and made a sandwich and brought it up to my bedroom. Mark was at cards until 11:00 so I was home alone.

I had just gotten my books out when I heard the doorbell ring. I glanced at my clock, it was only 7:00, and I wasn't expecting anyone. The doorbell rang again so I got out of my chair and shuffled down the steps. My barefeet slapped against the hardwood until I finally hit the front door mat, I reached down and yanked the door open. Dani stood on my doorstep with a bouquet of white roses and a beautiful smile plastered to her face. My jaw dropped when I saw her standing there, the cold December air was slapping the skin on my arms and feet.

"Shit… Come in, it's freezing out here."

Dani walked past me into the warm house, I slammed the door shut and turned around to stare at the gorgeous girl standing in the living room.

"What are you doing here?"

She thrust the white roses into my arms, "Hannah Marie Carmen, will you be my girlfriend?"

A nervous laugh pushed up my throat and I nodded my head furiously in agreement.

"So that's a yes?"

"Yes… Hell yes!" Dani smiled so brightly at me. We had been talking for almost six months now and I figured that I would be the one to ask her out. But here we were.

"Here, let me take your coat," I sat the roses down on the T.V. stand, Dani started to unzip her coat but I reached out and stopped her hands, "Let me."

"Okay," Dani let her hands fall to her sides as I slowly unzipped her coat and slipped it from her shoulders letting it drop to the floor. She had a beanie on the top of her head, I stepped closer to her, close enough to feel her breath against my neck. A darkness fell over her green eyes as she bit her lip and stared into mine. I ran my hands from her fingertips all the way up to where the beanie touched her forehead. I slipped my fingers under the beanie and pushed it back until it too fell onto the ground with her coat. My fingers trailed across her scalp and through her hair until I found the base of her neck, I used my thumbs to tilt her head up farther. Looking into her eyes for any kind of hesitation, but all I saw were her green eyes reflecting the same thing I felt. I leaned my head forward until my lips touched hers, they were soft and warm, and I felt a tingling in the pit of my stomach and a tightness in my chest. She met my kiss and put one hand on my waist and another on my back. Every kiss I had ever had before was nothing like this. I pulled back a little bit but Dani pulled me back in. We stood there like that for a minute more until we both pulled away.

A goofy smile was left on my face and I opened my eyes to see Dani smiling right back.

"That was nice," I offered.

"I can't stop smiling," I brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face, "You're my… Girlfriend."

"I did say yes," I laughed.

"So…"

"So…"

Dani pressed her lips against mine again, I returned her kiss. She ran her tongue over my bottom lip, trying to find access, but I took my teeth and bit her bottom lip instead. She whimpered quietly against my mouth, I returned to the kiss and pulled her to me tighter.

"Want to go to my room?"

"We only just started dating."

"Not what I meant, I have to work on my geometry. We could listen to some music or you could watch T.V. till I'm done?"

"Hannah, if you have homework I can just head home. I would hate to be a bother," Dani began to lean over to grab her coat. I put my hands on her hips to stop her movements, she stiffened and I could see a blush coming over her cheeks. My touch was doing this to her, making her lose her cool just like she had made me do so many times before.

"No, stay. Seriously. Just watch T.V. while I finish up my problems. Okay?"

Dani nodded, before she could change her mind I moved my shoulder down to her waist and in one fluid motion had her slung over my shoulder. She squealed into my t-shirt and lightly beat her fists against my back, but I knew she didn't mind this. I slapped her left butt cheek as we climbed the steps, causing her to squeal louder than before. My door was open, so I just threw her down onto my bed before plopping down into my computer chair.

"You aren't much of a romantic Hannah," Dani laid on her stomach and rested her hands against her palms.

"I am a hopeless romantic, but I have work to do so I am able to see you and do romantic things for you," I said as I began my first set of problems.

"I could do that for you…"

"No, I much rather have you lying in my bed looking cute."

"You think I'm cute?"

"I think you're the cutest thing to ever walk this earth, babe." I blew her a kiss.

"That was a real panty dropping line there Hannah."

"We can wait for the pantie dropping hun. I'm still not ready."

I switched on my computer and plugged in my surround sound. Pulling up Spotify I scrolled through my array of playlists, trying to find the right one.

"Do you like showtunes?"

"Love."

I scrolled down to the bottom of my broadway playlist and turned on some Phantom. The overture started playing at full blast, I glanced over to Dani. She was kicking her feet back and forth watching me intently, but I knew the overture would not do. Still scrolling down through my Phantom songs until I found what I was looking for.

The overture started to play again, but instead of playing out it ran right into a guitar solo until Emmy Rossum started singing. Dani was singing along, blasting out lyrics and noted I could never hit in my low alto range. A few more songs played before I finished up my last problem set.

"Done," I stuffed my textbook back into my backpack and walked over to the bed to grab Dani's hand. I reached over and hit pause on my music.

"Why'd you stop the music."

"The delay will end momentarily," I pulled her up off the bed.

"What are you doing." She looked at me with curious eyes.

In return I gave a mischievous smile. "Dance with me?"

"I thought Hannah Carmen didn't dance?"

"Things change," I slid my hand around her side towards the small of her back and kept our entangled hands close to my chest. Dani put her free hand on my shoulder as I pulled her body closer to mine. We swayed turning slowly in a circle. I could feel my heart beating in my throat as I held Dani to my chest, she rested her head against my heart.

"Your heart beat is always so erratic when I touch you," Dani whispered.

"You do have that effect on me." I buried my nose in her hair, breathing her in.

It felt like we stayed like that for hours, it had only been ten minutes in reality, but it felt like hours to me. Dani lifted her head from my chest, staring into my partly closed eyes, she tilted her head to the side to place her lips on mine. I kissed back, moving my free hand in between her shoulder blades and letting go of her hand to place it under her chin. The kiss became more urgent, both of us pushing harder against each other, craving the contact. I lifted her off the ground and in return she wrapped her legs around my waist, still pulling herself closer to me. I walked backward until I felt the backs of my knees hit my bed, gently I lowered myself down until Dani was lying on top of me. She ran her tongue over my bottom lip again, trying to find access and I granted it to her. Her tongue filled my mouth, exploring. This kept up for another 20 minutes, until we both had slowed down to light kissing again.

"Mmmm," Dani pulled away from me, "You're glasses are so fogged up." Dani giggled as she lifted the glasses from my face, leaving feathered kisses on my eyelids. "Open your eyes."

"Fine." I opened up my eyes. "My mouth tastes like strawberry bubblegum." I tasted my lips and the shallower part of my mouth.

"Sorry, that's my lip gloss," Dani sounded embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed, I really like it," I said as I leaned up to get another taste. Her lips were unbelievably soft. "I've never been kissed like this in my life."

"Is that a good thing?" Dani blushed.

"The best," I smirked. "You're cute when you blush." I kissed her cheek.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Dani said as she leaned her head back onto my chest. She was still straddling me but I was sitting up now.

"Me too hun."

 **00000**

Piper walked next to me as we headed to Healy's office, her presence took off some of the pressure. Alex had gone to work in the yard so it was just the two of us. Healy liked Piper, but Healy wasn't my biggest fan and in all honesty I was nowhere near his either. He was a giant homophobe and it irritated me to think that he believed that we were all evil doers. I was a drug importer, I never actually sold anyone heroine, sure I sold pot as a young teenager but that was pot.

"Are you nervous," Piper broke the silence.

"Beyond actually."

We reached his office, his door slightly cracked, but open far enough for us to see him sitting at his desk reading a book. Piper knocked on the door as she walked in.

"Hello Mr. Healy," Piper's voice changed, it had a very sardonic tone to it.

"Hi Piper," he hesitated when he saw me come in behind her, "Carmen."

"Mr. Healy."

"So what do you ladies need?" Mr. Healy placed a bookmark into his book and sat it down onto his neat desk.

"May we sit?" Piper asked.

"Please." Healy motioned towards the two chairs in front of his desk.

"Hannah, has a dilemma and as her friend I thought that I should bring her to you for help."

"Well my job here is to help as much as I possibly can," Healy cracked his knuckles and leaned forward in his chair, "So what seems to be the issue here?"

"Well, you see my aunt Phyllis went in for back surgery eight days ago. She was put under anesthesia and hasn't woken up and she isn't breathing on her own.."

"What is it you're asking?"

"I was wondering if you might push me through for furlough?" I played

around with my thumbs while I talked to Healy.

"Well I will fill out the paperwork and see what I can do, but I make no promises." Healy pulled a form out of his desk and sat it down so I could reach it. "Sign your name at the bottom and I will fill the rest out."

"Thank you so much Mr. Healy," I gave him a nod of appreciation.

"Okay, now run along and stay out of trouble."

Piper and I stood up from the chairs and walked out of Healy's office. The meeting had gone much shorter than I thought it would, but I wasn't sure if I should feel relief or anxiety.

 **00000**

The cool autumn air blew my bangs everywhere, getting stuck behind my glasses and slapping at my forehead. I loved fall, it was my favorite season of the year. It meant sweatshirts and jeans, pumpkin patches with Dani and the taste of piping hot apple cider. I was a senior in high school now, finally one of the big fish in the pond. Dani had graduated from Harrison High School and had started to attend college at the University of Cincinnati. That was a 10 minute walk from Phyllis's house and I took that walk quite a bit. Dani did have two other roommates so we didn't get too much alone time when I was over, but I still got to see her.

Phyllis and Mark were back to working almost all day and night on weekends so Dani and I were able to be alone there. I had gotten a job so I had money to take her out for dates and I had my license now so we didn't walk or take a bus everywhere. My car was an Oldsmobile 442, painted black with a white pinstripe on the driver's side. It was my grandpas car from when he was in his early 20's, we restored it and repainted it. The old girl looked brand new and Dani loved it. I worked down at Findlay market in the butchery. My job was to carry heavy packs of meat to the butcher and then repeat. It was an easy job, easy money.

I was putting a quarter of my paycheck into a savings account, this would be the money I would give to Phyllis before I moved out. She wouldn't take it now, but I would continue to save until the very day I left her house at the end of this summer. I had already applied to U.C. and was more than likely to get in on a half scholarship with my good grades and drama club credits. Everything was looking up.

Back to the cool autumn day now. Eddie had dragged me to a football game at U.C. since I hadn't hung out with him a ton lately. He too went to U.C. but all my extra time was devoted to Dani and he respected that, but I still did need to see him.

I pulled my leather jacket closer to my body as Eddie and I walked against the wind towards the other side of the football stadium.

"Shit, the wind is making it chilly here," Eddie said through chattering teeth.

"Want my jacket?"

"Nah, wanna head back to my dorm?"

"That sounds fucking great," I said while huddling closer to Eddie, "Is Kole gonna be there?"

"Yeah, he just got dumped by Cindy so he's been hotboxing in our room. He's getting high off his own supply."

Kole was one of mine and Eddie's closest friends, we considered him to be a family member. We met him at GameStop a few years back and had been hanging out ever since. It was no secret that Kole sold pot to the local kids. He made quite a profit off of it, but he had the tendency to smoke some of his hash.

"Sweet. I mean to him being there not to Cindy dumping him," I took a second, "But Cindy was a bitch anyway."

"Yeah, I never liked her. Plus she was a screamer and that shit kept me up at night."

"Kole screwed her in your room?"

"They had sex in the bathroom when she came over, nothing new."

Eddie and I walked back to his dorm room, he and Kole had a one bedroom with a kitchen and living room. They had bunk beds in the bedroom, and that was the only thing you could make out that wasn't covered in dirty socks or mountains of clothes. The living room and kitchen were always clean though. When we got into the dorm hallway the smell of pot hit us in the face like a ton of bricks. Eddie stuck the key into the door and swung the door open, a cloud of thick smoke was let into the hallway. He grabbed my arm and threw me in the room before someone saw us go in.

"Shit Kole, crack a window," I said as I waved my hand in front of my face.

"Hannah!" Kole emerged from a hazy kind of sleep and ran up to me to wrap his lengthy arms around my shoulders. "Hey lesbian best friend."

I couldn't help but laugh at his greeting, he was totally stoned and I was loving it. Eddie turned on the fan so it sucked the smoke to the outside and lit a few candles. Koles arms were still wrapped around me. After a half hour the smoke had cleared and the smell had been neutralized, but Kole was still higher than a kite.

Eddie lit a joint and started smoking it, he didn't offer it to me because he knew I didn't smoke. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of doritos, two beers, and a root beer. He handed me the root beer and handed Kole one of the beers.

"So you haven't been over in literally two months, what's going on with you?" Eddie asked as he took the cap off his and Koles beers with his bottle opener ring. I had bought him that for Christmas last year.

"Nothing much really," I took a swig of my drink.

Kole spoke up, "So have you and blonde hooked up yet?" I knew his question would come up eventually.

"No, I'm still nervous about it. I really care about her you guys." I sat my drink down on the table and pulled my legs up to my chest on the couch.

"There's no need to speed anything up or do something you don't wanna do Hannah," Eddie said. He sat next to me on the couch, patting me on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I mean she's been with you this long now. She must respect your feelings," Kole said as he put the beer to his lips.

"I guess you guys are right, plus I want it to be special ya know?"

"As long as you love each other it'll be special, don't get me wrong though. It's gonna be awkward as hell and you're gonna get nervous but don't let those nerves get in the way." Eddie finished his sentence then took another hit from the joint.

We talked more about Dani and I and then switched over to play some video games. Eddie got halfway through a game of Madden when he slumped over and passed out. Kole had sobered up a little bit and helped me carry Eddie off to bed.

"So I have a question for you," I said to Kole as we sat back down on the couch.

"What's that?" He grabbed a handful of doritos and crunched.

"So I was wondering if you could hook me up with your boss?"

"Like the guy I deal for?"

"Yeah," I had to think of his boss's name, "Marcus?"

"I mean sure, but are you sure you want to sell pot?"

"I need the money, Findlay pays nice but I need more."

"Alright sure." Kole grabbed his phone off the coffee table and played around on his phone trying to find Marcus's number. He sent me his number when he finally found it.

"Just give him a call and say Kole sent you."

"Thanks brother."


	5. Chapter 5

A few months passed by, it was New Year's Eve and I had been selling pot for Marcus since late October. The cash rolled in and I was loving it. The kids at school bought it like it was going out of style.

Dani and I had planned to spend New Year's Eve at my place since my aunt and uncle were going to my cousin Adam's for the night. I had ordered chinese food and bought a bottle of sparkling cider for dinner. 8 o'clock finally rolled around the corner and Dani was ringing my doorbell.

I had dressed in a pair of khaki slacks, a white t-shirt, and my favorite red and gray flannel. I yanked the front door open and let Dani into the house for the hundredth time. She wore a pair of dark blue jeans and had her coat over a long sleeve white shirt.

"Hey babe," I said as I closed the front door behind me, "I ordered takeout."

"Mmm I love The Palace," Dani said as she took her coat off. "But I love you more."

"Hmmm, do you really?" I pressed my body against hers, kissing the corners of her mouth.

"Totally."

"I think I love you twice as much," I said between kisses.

"Ready to eat?"

"Yeah, but I'm not in the mood for chinese right now." I smirked, making Dani blush.

"So what are you hungry for?"

Dani's breath hitched as I put my lips to her ear, "You." I whispered.

She moaned as I kissed her lips.

"Are you sure you're ready," Dani pulled my head away from her.

"I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't, I want you now." With that Dani jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. I carried her up the steps to my room as she kissed my neck, making my knees weak. Her touch and kiss still made my body melt and sometimes it was maddening. We finally made it to my bed, I had changed the sheets and had made sure to light a few candles in my room before she came over. I lowered us to the bed, trying not to put my full weight onto her. I had started working out at the gym so I had more definition in most of my body now. Dani ran her hands up and down my biceps as we kissed, which seemed to become much more urgent as time went on. I tried pulling her shirt off, getting caught on her topaz earrings. Dani helped me out and took off her earrings as well, we laughed together at my fail.

Dani pulled my flannel off me in one swoop, she didn't even attempt to unbutton it. She grabbed the hem of my shirt and yanked it over my head, leaving us in our pants and bras. I took a second to gaze down at Dani's body, "You're beautiful." She blushed at my words, I placed kisses on her neck. She started to unbutton my pants so I went to hers, she lifted her hips so I could slide them down and she kicked them the rest of the way off. I pulled off my pants, but the belt got caught onto my underwear, ripping them down to my knees. The reality of being exposed punched me in the face. My nerves spiked through the roof and I had the overwhelming sensation to leave my room. I jumped off of Dani and ran into the bathroom, pulling my underwear up as I went.

I wasn't good at being vulnerable and I knew deep down that I needed to change that, needed to open all the way up to someone, but I was just too scared. I had closed the door behind me and slid down onto the cold linoleum floor of the bathroom with my back against the door.

' _You just ran away from her you idiot, in her fucking underwear, you ran away.'_

I was so in my mind I hadn't heard Dani walk down the hall to the bathroom.

"Hannah? Are you okay?" she sounded so concerned.

Hot tears stung my eyes and my cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Dani."

"Hannah, open the door."

"You should leave," I cried, not able to keep the tremor out of my voice.

"I'm not leaving you like this, Hannah," Dani exclaimed, "Open the door, please."

I stood up, my knees shaking under me. I wrapped my hand around the door handle and twisted it lightly. Dani's face greeted me, it was covered in a mixture of guilt and concern. She had nothing to feel guilty about.

"I'm sorry, Hannah," Dani said as she pushed past the door to wrap her arms around me. Her exposed skin touched mine, sending shockwaves of warmth through me. Some of her hair sprawled over my shoulders, tickling my back, but I was so lost I had no way to laugh. "I shouldn't have let you do that." Her hands drew small circles on my back.

"It's my fault, I really did think I was ready."

"Hey," Dani pulled back holding me at arm's length, "We can still cuddle, right?"

My eyes flickered, "Sure." Dani reached for my hand and led me back to my room. She pulled back the comforter before laying down. I climbed over her towards the wall to lay behind her, like we had done so many times before. My fingers found hers and I wrapped my arms around her still grasping her hands in mine. Dani pushed her body against me letting me feel her body heat. Her perfume was still lingering on her skin and it was a scent that was so very much her.

We lay like this for an hour or so, but I couldn't sleep and by the way Dani was breathing I knew she wasn't asleep either. I took a chance and let go of her hands, slipping out from behind her and switched to straddling her hips. I reached down and splayed my hands against her pale middle, letting her heat rest against my skin. I looked up to her eyes, and found her glowing green eyes staring into mine, she didn't say anything.

I moved my hands from her stomach to her back, she lifted up so I could unclasp her bra. I shimmied down her legs to pull off her panties, she lifted her hips and let me remove them. The sight before me was incredible, I drank in every inch of her before removing the rest of my clothes. Moving back to straddle her hips, becoming very aware of my girlfriend beneath me, she was completely exposed and so was I. I leaned down to kiss her lips, feeling her hum as I ran my hands up and down her sides.

It had taken me almost two years to finally get here and I had dreamt of this moment so many times before. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and just let my instincts and Dani take over my senses. It was a memorable night for the both of us.

 **00000**

My alarm clock went off at 7:30 a.m. pulling me from a deep sleep, I still had no dreams, but I also had no nightmares because of Dani. I took a moment to open my eyes, the light was spilling through my window, illuminating my bedroom. My arms were wrapped around Dani, holding her flush to my skin, we were both very much naked still. Last night had been long, we stayed up talking until 3 in the morning. My brain was wired after we had sex and Dani wasn't too tired either, so we had laid under the covers until we finally started dozing off.

I looked down at the sleeping girl wrapped around me, her hair was disheveled and tangled, I knew that was partially my fault. Her breathing was very slow and deep, I could feel her breath against me. I knew we had to get up and get dressed so I could make breakfast and not get caught naked with my girlfriend by my aunt.

"Dani," I whispered in her ear while tucking some hair behind her ear, "Dani wakeup."

She began to stir, "What time is it?" her voice was groggy and full of sleep.

"7:30, we need to get up," I said as I kissed her eyelids.

"Ugh, but I wanna stay right here," she nuzzled into my bare chest. She still hadn't opened her beautiful green eyes, the same eyes that I had stared into last night. I couldn't rip my gaze from hers most of the night, they were darker than normal and clouded by lust. It was the heaviest thing I had ever experienced.

"Come on, Dani," I sat up, dragging her up with me. She wrapped her arms around me tighter, it felt as if she were trying to melt into my skin. "Stop it," I couldn't help but let out a growl.

"I like it when you growl," her head head was buried in my shoulder.

"That's the first time I've ever done that in front of you."

"No, you did it last night," she pulled her face away from my body, "I want coffee."

"Then coffee you shall have," I started to stand up, but hesitated a bit. "Jeez it's freezing in here." My bare skin was hit by the cold air in my room, I must have left my window open. I could feel Dani's eyes on me as I walked over to my dresser to find something to wear.

A pair of my grey sweatpants were sitting folded in the top of my dresser, I turned around and threw them at Dani. "So you don't have to wear those jeans."

I turned back to my dresser and found another pair of sweats and a plain red t-shirt and a pair of clean underwear. Dani found her panties and tshirt and dressed behind me. I finished getting dressed and walked back to my bed. I threw the comforter to the floor and stripped off my sheets, then replaced my comforter on my bare mattress.

"I gotta clean these sheets."

"Yeah, I know. I kinda need a shower"

"Tell you what," I walked closer to her, "I will make a pot of coffee and some eggs and toast then we can shower together."

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that."

"Me too."

 **00000**

"Hannah Carmen to the visitation room," the loudspeaker boomed into the rec room.

"Oh shit, looks like Carmen's mommy came to visit her," Nicky said.

"Fuck you Nichols," I threw down my cards and started to leave. I got halfway to the door when I felt a hand grab my shoulder. "What the fu-"

"Don't curse at me Hannah," Reds thick Russian accent cut through the space between us. "What is going on? Eddie only visits every other week."

"I know, it's not him. We talked last night. I'm not sure who's here."

"Who else is on your visitation list?" She sounded worried.

"Bella and Phyllis are the only other two on there," maybe it was Bella coming to visit?

"Well, don't get too emotional with her. It has been a long time since you two have spoken and it is a rough time for your family." Red grabbed my face in her hands.

"I'll be good, Red. I can handle my bratty little sister."

"Good," Red said, "Mwah," she kissed my forehead. "Tell me how it goes kiddo."

"I will," she let her hands drop from my cheeks.

With that I turned away from the Red and headed towards the visitation room, the room that always smelt like mildew and tears.

Visitation was a privilege given to all of us inmates, but it could be taken away just as easily as it was given.

"Hannah Carmen to visitation, now." The voice more demanding.

"I'm coming," keeping my voice hushed.

Maybe it was Bella, I mean Phyllis hanging onto life would be a reason for a visit, but it still seemed odd. I kept her on my visitation list incase she ever needed to see me. Although I'm sure it's hard for her to see her sister in prison, I know it would be tough for me as well. Hell it was rough for me to see anyone while I was here. I was still excited at the thought of seeing my sister. We talked briefly on holidays, but nothing more extensive than that. Kind of like when we were kids, except I wasn't on Phyllis's home phone now.

Visitation days took place on the weekends, so Saturday and Sunday were always kind of lax. Burset was busy all weekend in the hair salon with women who wanted to look as nice as it possibly was to be in prison, for their families. Some women never had visitors so they would stay in their bunks or laze around the grounds. I always felt kinda bad for them, but sympathy could get you in a pile of shit here.

Finally I made it to the visitation room doors where I was met by a female guard. She took me by my arm and led me into the room, the stench of disinfectant and mildew greeted my nose, causing me to cringe. But there was something else lingering beneath it. I glanced around the room, not realizing the guard had let go of my arm, but Bella wasn't anywhere in the room. I knew the guard was getting a bit annoyed with me standing there, so I quickened my efforts. Every table in the room was occupied, except for one table on the other side of the room.

I walked towards the table, that smell was becoming much more prominent, it was sweet and slightly musky. Familiar.

5 feet away now and I knew the smell, I hated the fact I knew the smell and that I could smell it in this room. Anger started to bubble in my stomach and bile rose into my throat, but I had to keep my cool.

"White Lotus," I said, "I bought you that at a little store in Maui for our six year anniversary. You loved it so much that I ordered boxes of it," I pulled the metal chair back from the table, not letting it scrape against the concrete floor, "Hello Dani." I let a smile take over my mouth, but it didn't reach my eyes.

"Hannah," Dani's voice was laced with guilt. I had known her since I was 15, it was easy for me to tell she felt guilty.

"Before you try to apologize I want you to tell me why the fuck you're here," keeping my voice low and controlled.

"I needed to see you."

"You realize that you haven't tried to contact me in four years. Why in the hell would you come here now?"

"Look, what I did was wrong, I know…"

"Do you know?" I interrupted, "Dani you were the love of my life, and you threw me in prison."

"I'm sorry…"

"Fuck you, Dani." It was getting harder to control my temper. My emotions were all over the place, I wasn't angry as much as I was upset. Part of me wanted to sock her in her beautiful face and the other part wanted to kiss her until we were both gasping for air.

"Hannah, you have every right to be pissed at me," I scoffed, "Just hear me out. Please?" She was pleading now.

I took a moment to think. I could either stand up and leave this dingy old room or sit across the table from the love of my life, to hear out something that looked to be tearing her apart.

She was older now, 27, four years changed her hair cut and made her lose some weight, but she was still the same Dani. Her vibrant green eyes were glassy with unshed tears and a lack of good sleep. She must not be taking her sleep medication again. I looked her up and down, she was wearing a pair of dark blue Levi's with rips in the knees, her old white Converse from when we first met, and a white t-shirt under my favorite red and gray flannel. She still wore my clothes?

Her hair just below shoulder length now and pulled back into a tight ponytail. She didn't have any makeup on, she didn't need it because of her flawless skin. But she was wearing clear lip gloss, I knew by the way her lips shimmered in the light that it was still the same brand she had been buying for years. I remembered that lip gloss well, especially the way it tasted when we kissed, like strawberry bubblegum.

"Fine," I huffed.

"So, after I testified against you, my lawyer told me that I was no longer apart of the case and that I was free to leave, but my lawyer failed to let me know that if someone reopened the case that I could be charged as a criminal conspirator. Your old boss, Marcus, had one of his inside men reopen the case and long story short I was given a plea deal of three years in prison. If I self surrendered."

"And?" But in the back of my mind I knew what she was about to say.

"I'm going to surrender here, to Litchfield. With you." I went silent. Dani stared into my eyes, searching for any glimmer of happiness, but all there was to see was piping hot anger. "Hannah?"

"What? Do you expect me to be excited? Happy?" I took a breath, "When I look at you all I see is my backstabbing ex-girlfriend. So I'm sorry I'm not happy about seeing the person who put me in this hell hole in the first place!" People began to stare, but I didn't care. I pushed myself back from the table so hard my metal chair clattered to the concrete floor. I stormed back towards the door I had come in through, the guard watching cautiously.

"You still love me," Dani stated, standing from her chair.

I raised both of my middle fingers, not even bothering to turn around to look at her because I had tears rolling down my cheeks. "Go to hell," barely holding myself together.

The guard opened the door so I could walk through. She didn't bother giving me a strip search, just let me walk through the exit without a single word. The tears were flowing down from my eyes, blurring my vision, but I didn't need to really see where I was going. I had memorized every part of this prison, knew every little nook and cranny like the back of my hand. People kept out of my way, making sure to leave me a path, scared I would lash out and attack. I made it to the kitchen. My fellow inmates were staring at me, some with sympathetic looks others with blank expressions, but no one said a word.

Red's office door was open, but she was nowhere in sight, so I walked in. Letting the door slam behind my body as I leaned my back against it. Sliding down to the floor.

Finally I let my sobs rack through my body. Practically wailing. I couldn't control myself, couldn't stop and I wasn't even sure why I was really crying.


	6. Chapter 6

_**It has come to my attention that last week I had edited and sent in chapter 5, but I didn't post it by accident. So I just posted chapter 5 and will now be putting six on here as well. To anyone who is reading my fanfic I apologize for the inconvenience! Please review and share!**_

Sales were better than ever, I had more than 50 clients now. I was bringing in more money than any of Marcus's other street dealers. I was 19 now, living in an apartment with Dani off of U.C.'s campus.

I had been dealing for three years. Trying so hard to climb the ladder of the cartel. I was very good at what I did, one of the best.

 **00000**

"So, you have brought me more money in the past year than most of my street guys have made in over 5 years, not to mention your overall profit from the other two years," Marcus leaned forward in his chair, "So, are you ready to move up?"

"I would love to, but I'm still in college and I can't afford to travel until I graduate."

"No no, I know and understand completely. I have no intention of pressuring you into traveling."

"What is it that you had in mind?"

"Along with your street work I would like you to just organize heroin shipments in the U.S.. Just until you graduate next year, then I'm gonna start transitioning you to overseas."

"What does the Heroin job entail?"

"You will simply contact my top men who are positioned in different areas of the U.S. about shipments. Just a few calls and a few emails so they know when and where the drops are. You won't even have to leave your apartment."

I pondered for a moment, "So you still want me to sell the pot too?"

"Yes, it's really a win win for us both. You will make double the profit for me and you will get paid double what you get now."

"Okay."

"So, we have a deal?"

"Yes."

"Alright, I will have Gomez give you your new phone and laptop before you leave." Marcus stood up and extended his hand to me. I shook it, keeping my excitement at bay. I was about to have more money than I knew what to do with now.

 **00000**

"Sign here," he pointed, "and here. Initial here. Okay." He reached across the table and took the documents away from me. "She's all yours ma'am."

"Thank you." I retrieved the keys at the front desk.

I had just bought a motorcycle with some of the money I had been making from my job. She was a 2011 Harley-Davidson FXS Blackline, matte black with a chrome undercarriage, beautiful.

 **00000**

"Hello?"

"I got a surprise, come outside," I said excitedly.

"Okay?"

I exited the call on my phone and waited outside next to my motorcycle, leaning against the telephone pole that was in front of our building. Before I drove to the apartment I had stopped by the Choppe Shoppe and bought two helmets. One was all matte black with a glossy face shield, that was mine. The other one was glossy white with a rose wrapping around the entire helmet, very intricate. That was Dani's.

It took a few more minutes before Dani got down, but it was worth the wait to see the look on her face.

"You bought a bike?" unable to hold back her excitement.

"Yes and I thought you might wanna go for a ride?" I tossed the white helmet to her.

"How do you afford all of this?" She followed me to the bike. I hopped on, she draped a leg over the bike and assumed the position. She wrapped her long arms around my stomach, squeezing lightly.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you," I never wanted to tell her.

I reved the engine and we took off. Dani let out a squeal of excitement, causing me to laugh. Her head was resting on my shoulder. Our helmets clunked together every once in awhile. I weaved in and out of traffic, trying to get to Smale park as fast as lawfully possible.

We arrived just as the sun was setting over the river. It was always beautiful here. I parked the bike and we walked hand in hand towards the railing looking out over the water.

"Where'd you learn to ride?" Dani asked.

"My grandpa Tommy had a Honda motorcycle in his garage that we fixed up and he taught me how to drive it when I was twelve. It was one of the only times I never thought about my parents, the wind was too loud in my ears. The memories just seemed to blow away for a little while." She squeezed me hand.

"Your grandpa was a smart guy."

"Still is," I turned towards her. "Would you want to meet him?"

"Your grandpa?"

"Yes, and my family?"

"If you want me to, but will they be awkward because of… You know…"

"What? That you're a girl?" I grabbed her other hand pulling her closer. "My family wouldn't care if you were a one legged prostitute as long as you treated me right and made me happy."

"Really?"

"Absolutely!" I exclaimed. "Come to Easter with me this year? You said you're family doesn't do anything anyway. Come? I want you to come with me."

"Hmmm, I guess," she smirked.

I leaned in and kissed her cheek then pulled her into my arms. I was head over heals with this blonde haired, green eyed beauty.

 **00000**  
"Hannah open the goddamn door!" Red was angry now, her face almost as bright as her hair. I was still locked in her office, my back against her door. Tears had soaked the white long sleeve shirt I wore under my beige uniform top. I hadn't stopped crying, almost surprised after almost an hour of crying I wasn't dried up.

"Please open the door Hannah," she sighed, her voice reaching at sympathy. "Hannah?"

"Gina, go get Vause, now," Red ordered.

 **00000**

"Hey kid, it's Alex, open the door." I could feel her body pressed against the other side of the door. "We don't have to talk, you don't have to say anything, but eventually a CO is going to show up and you're going to be thrown in the SHU."

The thought of going back to Seg. woke me up a little bit, just enough for me to get to my feet and open the door. The entire kitchen staff was standing there looking at me, as soon as I stepped out of the threshold they scurried back to work.

Alex stayed standing next to Red, looking me straight in my eyes.

"Ladies you know what needs to be done! I am not to be disturbed!" Red bellowed.

She took me by my shoulder and led Alex and I into her tiny office. We all took a seat. I sat on a box of old cook books, Alex sat on a rickety metal chair, and Red sat on a better version of what Alex was seated on. It took a minute for anyone to say a word, but Red broke the ice.

"Tell me what happened," her voice was calm and soothing, "You can't just run when something upsets you, Hannah. You will get nowhere in life like that."

"I know…"

"So?"

"I guess I'll start from the beginning then." I cracked my knuckles and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks. "So before I got sent to prison I worked for a drug lord. His name was Marcus. He was a big dog, even competed with Kubra, they were on the same level. I was in charge of moving large shipments of Heroin across the world, mostly I was based in France. Every two months I would leave for 3 to 4 weeks to make deals with French cartels to go into business with Marcus. It was easy. And I was one of his top men.

"But before that I sold pot for him on the streets, just to local customers. I started when I was sixteen. When I was fifteen I fell in love with this girl, she was the best thing that had ever happened to me and we started dating. Her name was Dani. I was with her before I worked with the drugs. She eventually found out when I was twenty, that's when I had to start travelling and there was no more hiding what I did. Well, she didn't like the fact that I did it, but I had money to support us and I loved her, so she stayed. I was so in love with her, every time I left her it felt like I was being shot in the gut. And I've been shot in the gut before. Once the work started to get dangerous she started to threaten to leave me so I tried to back out of the game as much as I could. I mean no one ever really gets out of the game, so I knew it would be difficult, but I wanted a family with her.

"Well I was 23 when I bought her an engagement ring. I actually was going out to meet her for dinner where I was going to propose to her the night I was arrested. We were living in a studio apartment in OTR at that time, it was beautiful. Well I had just gotten done getting ready and I was waiting on her to get home from work, so when the buzzer went off I just hit the unlock button. I had been expecting Dani, but when I opened the front door, there were two police officers standing at my front door instead. Before I even had a chance to say hello they were telling me I was under arrest and reading me my Miranda Rights." I took a long shaky breath. Alex and Red were just looking at me with blank stares, urging me to continue with only their eyes.

"I still didn't know why I was being taken into custody, but it didn't take long for me to realize it was because of the drug ring. But I didn't know who told, well not until I was thrown into a courtroom. Where I heard her name get called to the stand. Dani had turned me in, she didn't tell them whom I worked for, but she told them enough for them to throw me into prison for seven years on conspiracy charges." I started to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" Alex asked.

"You know the dumb necklace I wear, but no one's ever actually seen anything but the chain?" Still laughing.

"Yes?"

I reached around my neck and yanked up on the silver chain that sat around it. On the end of the silver chain dangled a gold diamond ring, the ring I was going to give to Dani. Alex's jaw dropped along with Red's.

"The guards let me keep it because I called it my engagement ring," I was becoming sad again.

"Why did you keep that?" Red asked.

"Because I was still in love with her then and my feelings haven't changed. So today when I went to my surprise visitation, it wasn't my sister who sat across the table from me. It was Dani."

"I thought you told me only Eddie, Bella, and Phyllis were on your visitation list?"

"I must have put Dani on there when I first signed my papers. I forgot."

"So you were upset because she came and saw you?"

"Not exactly why, but it has something to do with that." I took a moment to breathe and keep my head in one place. "Marcus had one of his inside men reopen the case and had Dani convicted of the same crime as me except she received a three year sentence on a plea deal."

"And?" they said simultaneously.

"She is self surrendering here, at Litchfield."

"Oh shit, Hannah." Alex stood from her chair to walk towards me. Letting her hand rest on my shoulder.

"I will do everything in my power to keep her from you. Maybe I could starve her out?" Red continued to think of ways to keep Dani away until I interrupted her.

"No Red, no. I don't want her harmed, I want her safe."

"But why? She wronged you, normally I would be against this but she fucked you over."

"Hannah, I agree with Red, she really did fuck you over. It's not right and she deserves to be punished."

I pushed Alex's hand off of my shoulder to stand up. "I still love her and I will stay away from her, but she is not to be harmed or treated like dirt. If you care for me you will remember that." I left Red's office without another word.


	7. Chapter 7

The sun was shining so brightly on Easter that year, the smell of spring was wafting through the air like an expensive perfume. There was a slight breeze that felt great on the skin since it was 87 degrees out, which in Ohio was blazing hot. All of the flowers were blooming and the trees had vibrant green leaves that made Dani's green eyes blaze. She had been so nervous to meet my family today, but she did it for me.

Phyllis was going to be there and Dani knew she could hang around her if she got uncomfortable.

Dani looked gorgeous in a soft sleeveless green blouse, white capris, a pair of strappy sandals, and her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. She definitely beat me. I was dressed in a loose white blouse, fitted jeans, my black Converse, and my hair was pulled back into a ponytail with my bangs brushing against the top of my glasses.

For Easter I had bought Dani a cuff bracelet with our anniversary engraved on it in roman numerals. She had bought me a heart shaped locket with our picture inside of it.

We drove down on the Harley. The traffic wasn't bad at all on our way down, which was surprising considering it was Easter. The cool wind blew air through my shirt, drying the sweat that had accumulated on my skin. I was almost as nervous as Dani, I knew my family would love her, but I didn't think they would think that I was good enough for Dani. She was smart, funny, beautiful, so much more than my words could ever express.

She was going to college for Neurology and I was majoring in technical theatre while selling pot and organizing heroin shipments. I wasn't the kind of person you took home to Mom and Dad. But Dani still didn't know what I did. She knew something was up and some nights she would try to get me to fess up, but she never pried too hard. I felt awful about lying, but I didn't want her to leave me, I couldn't let her leave me. It would destroy me.

"We're almost there!" I shouted over the purr of my motorcycle.

"Sounds great!"

My aunt Theresa held Easter at her house every year, our entire family would show up. The adults would hide eggs for the kids for the egg hunt. While the kids were hunting we would set out gifts for the kids. There were numbers on the gifts and in the eggs so the kids would match up what the got and trade off what they didn't want.

Theresa's house sat on 10 acres of land with woods and was surrounded by the Muddy Creek.

We drove down the rough gravel road, pieces of gravel spewing from my back wheel into the air. The road was awful back here, my front tire kept trying to veer out of my hands. But I kept the bike under control. Dani's arms squeezed me tighter to her, making sure not to crush my breasts.

Finally I drove across the bridge that connected Theresa's yard to the patch of dirt that came after the gravel. My family saw me on the bridge and some waved, others stared at the bike I was driving. I heard my uncle Larry hooting and hollering, already drunk I knew. I pulled in next to my grandpa's van. I took the keys out of the ignition and started to get off, but Dani's arms anchored me down to the bike.

I flipped my face shield up. "Come on babe, we gotta move."

"I'm nervous," I grasped her hands.

"I'm here, there isn't any reason to be nervous when you're with me."

"Hannah…"

"They're gonna love you, probably more than me."

"Whatever." Dani let go of me and we both climbed off the Harley. We took off our helmets and attached them to the seats.

"Are you ready?" I reached out my hand towards her.

"You got my back?"

"Always." She took my hand in hers and we walked up to the house. I waved to my cousins playing corn hole, I would talk to them when we all went to eat dinner. Phyllis was waiting at the bottom of the steps with my Aunt Lynda next to her.

"Howdy stranger!" Phyllis wrapped me in a hug so tight that it was getting hard to breathe. "The house feels so empty without you around." She released me, but only to arms length. She planted a giant wet kiss on my cheek. "I love you so much Hannah."

"I love you too Phyllis."

She pushed me back a little bit and grabbed Dani, I walked over to Lynda and hugged her. "You're girlfriend is gorgeous, Hannah."

"Thank you Aunt Lynda," I could feel myself blushing.

"And you look fantastic, have you been working out? And I see you have had a bit of a wardrobe change." Lynda and I spoke a little bit more, but I couldn't take my eyes off of Dani. Phyllis had her laughing and it was music to my ears, she was being herself.

"Hi, I'm Dani," she said extending her hand to my aunt Lynda.

"Honey, in this family we hug. All of us hug so don't try to shake our hands," Lynda reached out and Dani hugged her in return.

"Thank you for telling me."

"No thanks needed." She let go of Dani. "Now Hannah go introduce her to the rest of the family."

"Yes ma'am."

"Don't ma'am me." We smiled at each other.

"Love you two."

"We love you too," they answered back at the same time.

Dani and I walked around the back of the house to the coolers. "Your aunt Lynda is so nice."

"Everyone here is nice, okay?"

"Okay."

"Tell you what," I grabbed her hands stepping as close to her as I could without touching her, "After you meet everyone I'll take you down to the creek to my spot."

"You have a secret spot?"

"I liked to explore a lot as a child."

"I wish I knew you back then," she gave me a little smile.

"Trust me, by the time we leave tonight you're gonna practically know every single embarrassing story about me."

"Promise?'

"On my life." I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. She returned my kiss, letting it stay soft, we pulled back and let our foreheads rest against each others. I heard the side door swing open, I turned in time to see my cousin Sara walking at us.

"Well, were you two just gonna stand there or say hi?" Sara was a year older than me, about the same height with long brown hair. She looked a lot like my mom's sister, Kim, but she was Theresa's daughter. Since I lived with Phyllis I saw Sara a lot growing up, we were fairly close. We had a lot in common, from theatre to our favorite movies and she loved the fact that I finally had a girlfriend.

"Hey, Sara." Dani let go of my hands so I could hug Sara. "Long time no see kiddo."

"Well New York is a busy place and it's tough to work around my school schedule." She pulled back from the hug. "But that's irrelevant. Is this the Dani?"

"Yeah," I said as I moved to the side.

"Hi," Dani's nerves were obvious, especially to Sara.

"Girl there is no reason to be nervous," Sara said, stepping in for a hug. Dani obliged.

"So Hannah Carmen has a beautiful girlfriend and she is holding a steady job that is paying rent for her very own apartment. They grow up fast."

"Shut up," I slugged her in the shoulder lightly. We both laughed.

"I gotta do down and play with the kids. It was nice to finally meet you in person. You'll fit in just perfect with our family, just don't be so nervous hun."

"Thank you Sara," Dani said.

 **00000**

"Hannah? I'm sorry about what I said in the rec. Room. I thought you'd laugh, I mean you normally laugh at that." Nicky was standing outside of my bunk wall.

"Just go away Nicky, I'm not mad at you." I had my face buried in my pillow, trying to hide my blotchy red face from everyone.

"What's going on with you? I saw you storming through the halls to the kitchen."

"Nicky please go away."

"Okay." I heard her boots squeak as she walked away.

I needed to pee, but I didn't want to move from my bunk. Though my bladder was going to win either way so I climbed off of my bunk and grabbed a roll of toilet paper out of my side of the cabinet I shared with Chapman.

My assigned bathroom was close to Spanish Harlem, the dorm where most hispanics were placed. The walk only took a minute, maybe two before I reached the door. Only two stalls in here had doors so if they were full I would just keep my pants up most of the way. Why do prisoners even need doors? Can't we just make them like animals? The questions echoed in my mind.

I walked through the doors, but to my surprise the bathroom was practically deserted. Only one of the stalls was occupied so I went into the other. I did my business then walked out to wash my hands.

I let out a sigh, it was rare to find a quiet spot in the prison, especially during mid day. I turned on the cold water faucet, filling my palms with the cool clear water before splashing my face. Another low sigh escaped my lips, the quiet and the water relaxed me.

"It's always quiet in here around 3 o'clock every weekend, I come in here to read," the voice startled me at first, but I realized who it was and I calmed back down.

"Hey Mendoza."

"I'm sorry about your aunt."

"Red told you?"

"Red and I talk about everything, Hannah." She walked up to the sink and mirror next to me. Looking at her eyebrows, she sat down her book.

"So I guess you know about what happened earlier today?"

"Yeah, but Red didn't need to tell me. I was in visitation with my son Benny when you were talking to that woman. I also know that it isn't anyone else's business, so your secrets safe with me." Mendoza turned to look at me. "I like you Hannah, you're different than most of the women here."

"Doesn't mean I don't deserve to be here."

"I didn't know you were an importer. Did you ever work with Vause?"

"No, we worked for different cartels actually, but yeah I was an importer. One of the best in the game."

"Did she turn you in?"

I rested my hands against the counter and stared at the sink. "She sure did, thought that maybe she could get me out of the game that way."

"You call it a game, why?"

"Because, it was a game to me, one of the most intricate games to play because one misstep could not only end my career it could end my life."

"Did you love it?"

"I did, it paid more than well and it gave me all I ever wanted. Up until the end."

"Because of her?"

"Because of her… I would have done anything to get out and be with her, but she got me out instead. Just not the way I thought she would."

"Do you still love her?"

"More than anything in the world."

"That sounds painful."

"Worse than any gunshot I ever received."

 **00000**

"Dani…" My breath was gone but I had to get ahold of her. My hand was shaking with a horrifying tremor and the screen was smeared with my blood. My other hand was pushed against the hole on my lower abdomen. The source of the bleeding. I felt dizzy and tired, but I knew that was the blood loss, I had to fight off the sleep.  
"Hannah? It's three in the morning, what's going on?"

"Help… follow phone… tracker… me now," I hung up. "Pressure," I whispered to myself.

The blood had spread from my shirt to my pants and I could feel it rolling down my sides and my legs. I had had enough strength right after I had fallen to crawl over to the wall so I could prop myself up. All I could smell was the metallic stench of my blood. Bile was rising in my throat, but I choked it back. I started to cry.

' _What if I never see her again? I should have told her I loved her on the phone. I should tell her the truth. She deserves to know the truth about what I do. Dani. I love you.'_

Her name kept floating in my brain, flashing across my vision like a movie picture. I focused on her and only her, not letting myself close my eyes. I would die. Too much blood had come out of me. I was dying. I could feel it.

' _I love you Dani.'_

Those were the last words I thought when my world started to go dark. My eyes were closed before I could see the cop cars and ambulance pulling up to me. And behind them Dani's gut was wrenching in the front seat of my car.


End file.
